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October 31, 2006

Rush Limbaugh Isn't Really an Obese, Thrice-Divorced, Draft-Dodging Drug Addict - He's Just Faking!!!!

W
ell, now that we have kicked off the home stretch of the campaign with Limbaugh's attack on Michael J. Fox for openly exhibiting symptoms of Parkinson's disease, and brazenly using his illness to try to find a cure for ... his illness, it's only going to get worse.

George Allen has attacked Jim Webb for the fictional content of his novels. Santorum says that Bob Casey has aided and abetted genocide. Bush says that "if Democrats win, the terrorists win." What's next?

How about this one? Tammy Duckworth is the Democratic candidate for Congress in the 6th District of Illinois. She is a veteran of the Iraq War who lost her legs when her Black Hawk helicopter was struck by a rocket propelled grenade. She's an obvious target for a good swift-boating.

So what will the Republicans say about her?

A. She still has her legs and is just hiding them.

B. She got her legs blown off on purpose so she could get a medal and run for Congress.

C. Both. And she speaks French.

D. Oh my God, a couple of gay guys in Massachusetts are trying to destroy the marriages of all decent Americans by settling down and getting married! Vote Republican!

Please send your ideas for creative smears!

Posted by TFW at October 31, 2006 12:20 PM

Comments

"Democrats have no plan for ending the war in Iraq."

This one is, of course, not made up. I heard Bush on NPR this morning attacking Democrats for opposing the war but having no plan to end it. If I had been wearing dentures I would have spit them through the windshield.

Posted by: Mark at October 31, 2006 2:12 PM

She's a morally unserious left-wing blogger so ideologically bound to her own position that she’s unable to weigh ideas based on their own merits!

No, that’s too cruel.

Posted by: reuben at October 31, 2006 4:02 PM

Democrats are secretly helping al Qaeda, the Soviets, Hirohito, the Nazis, the Ostrogoths, and Og's tribe to take away our FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM! (maniacal laughter optional)

Posted by: Mojo at October 31, 2006 8:08 PM

We'll stand down in Iraq when Tammy ...

Posted by: K at November 3, 2006 12:46 PM

The Mexicans are coming! The Mexicans are coming!

I Nominate Immigration As This Year's Red Herring of Choice

You can smear a whole country and 11 million undocumented US residents all at the same time!

But why? The obvious answer is that it distracts the media from the chaos in Iraq and the lack of progress on the Gulf Coast. It's not as sexy an issue as abortion or gay marriage, but you can bet Karl Rove already has an end game strategy planned to tie the three of them together. Unfortunately, there is no easy answer that will maintain an adequate supply of undocumented gardeners and nannies for the over-privileged while still assuaging Republican fear-mongers and xenophobes (speaking of Xena-phobia, the Dems could certainly use some Lucy Lawless ass-kicking on their side, but just think of the hay O-Really and Rush could make out of poor Lucy's unfortunate choice of name and, by god, doesn't she embody everything evil about the immigration of fictional, ambiguously gay, New Zealanders to our exclusive utopia?).

Posted by: Sanity Clause at November 6, 2006 9:42 AM

To paraphrase Ann Coulter:

"I've never seen an amputee enjoying the loss of her limbs so much."

"How do we know her helicopter crew wasn't going to frag her?"

Posted by: Tommykey at November 6, 2006 6:24 PM