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August 4, 2005
Another Funny Obituary
Patrick Pakenham, who has died aged 68, was a talented barrister and the second son of the 7th Earl and Countess of Longford; highly intelligent, articulate and possessed of an attractive and powerful voice, Pakenham could have attained great professional heights, but his boisterous nature and bouts of mental illness rendered it impossible for him to adhere to the routine required to sustain his position at the Bar, and he retired after 10 years' practice.
but then actually gets a good bit better. To wit,
During his appearance before an irascible and unpopular judge in a drugs case, the evidence, a bag of cannabis, was produced. The judge, considering himself an expert on the subject, said to Pakenham, with whom he had clashed during the case: "Come on, hand the exhibit up to me quickly." Then he proceeded to open the package. Inserting the contents in his mouth, he chewed it and announced: "Yes, yes of course that is cannabis. Where was the substance found, Mr Pakenham?" The reply came swiftly, if inaccurately: "In the defendant's anus, my Lord."Read the whole thing. A colorful life indeed.
Posted by Eric at August 4, 2005 4:04 PM
Comments
The Daily Telegraph frequently has obits to match that of the Hon. Mr. Pakenham. I check it on line nearly every day; you never know what you're going to find. I remember, for instance, the obituary of the daughter of the late Rector of Stiffkey, who had been defrocked in the 1930's for taking too close an interest in fallen women and was eventually killed by a circus lion. Then there was Chang Hsüeh-liang, called the "Young Marshall" to distinguish him from his father, the Old Marshall, from whom he inherited an army and the military governorship of Manchuria in 1928. At his death in 2001 at the age of 100 or more, he was the last surviving Chinese Warlord.
Posted by: Aleksei at August 4, 2005 6:47 PM
Eric, I read the Telegraph and London Times for their obits. Here's one of my personal favorites, from a recent Tele:
William Donaldson, who died on June 22 aged 70, was described by Kenneth Tynan as "an old Wykehamist who ended up as a moderately successful Chelsea pimp", which was true, though he was also a failed theatrical impresario, a crack-smoking serial adulterer and a writer of autobiographical novels; but it was under the nom de plume Henry Root that he became best known. . . .He was fond of his father, but disliked his snobbish, bullying mother and never forgave her for firing the family's faithful chauffeur after she discovered that he voted Socialist.
Donaldson was educated at Winchester, where he discovered that he had lost the contest for the title of stupidest boy in the school when his competitor, an Earl, was advised to "try Eton" after just one term. He then concentrated on perfecting his skills as an eccentric nuisance, wearing his straw hat at a facetious angle, conducting sexual experiments with other boys behind the squash courts and instigating "positive" bullying - by boys of the prefects.
Read the whole thing - it's amazing. Best in Breed, if you ask me.
http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/06/27/db2701.xml
Posted by: Al Maviva at August 5, 2005 7:12 AM